Right behind "what is the meaning of life?" comes another age-old mystery: "Why do people feel the need to have raunchy bachelor/bachelorette parties?" This topic has polarized both men and women for many years. But really, what are people thinking?
Before a wedding, it is customary that both the bride (bachelorette) and the groom (bachelor) receive a "send-off" into marriage, with their closest friends usually throwing them a party of sorts in honor of their last days being single. And there is nothing wrong with the concept: Let's celebrate one last time with "just the guys" or "just the girls" before taking the big plunge. But bachelor/bachelorette parties have morphed into an excuse to cheat, be selfish, act wild and crazy, and to forget about the person in which you are about to marry.
Of course I'm referring to having strippers, or going to a strip club, but that isn't the only distasteful activity that goes on. Can you count the number of times you've seen "the veiled" bride-to-be at a bar or club, completely out-of-control?
The debate on bachelor/bachelorette parties is all over the place, ranging from "it's harmless" to "it is not allowed." The most important thing to consider is: would I be ok if the same kind of party was thrown for my fiance? You should have a conversation with your fiance about what you are uncomfortable with, and come up with something that puts both people at ease.
The point is, if you feel the need to "hook up" one last time, maybe you should rethink getting married altogether. And if you are planning a bachelor/bachelorette party for someone else, be respectful and focus on having good clean fun. Brides, Grooms, if your friend is planning something distasteful, he/she is not your friend. Your real friends will be looking out for you long-term, and are not going to put you in a situation where your marriage can possibly be ruined.
Above all, the focus of these parties should be on the bride and the groom to-be. What is cheating to you? Have a conversation BEFORE your bachelor/bachelorette parties and be sure to listen to the other persons concerns. And be honest too. Starting your marriage off with a lie or a secret is the recipe for disaster.
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Tom Santilli has been in the Detroit wedding industry since 2002, and in that time has established himself as one of the top in his field. His company, Complete Video Solutions , was named as the #1 Best Wedding Videographer in Detroit by local brides and Channel 4 5 consecutive years, 2010-2014, and was currently inducted into TheKnot.com's "Vendor Hall of Fame." He also has won several awards for his wedding production, and is a member of WEVA (Wedding & Event Videographers Association.) As the Detroit Wedding Examiner, he has helped hundreds of brides with their weddings, with a local knowledge not found anywhere else. Being in the industry for so long, he is an expert in all areas of wedding planning, not just videography. He welcomes your questions, article suggestions, or feedback, and he can be reached