The old saying is, once he proposes and buys the ring, his main responsibility is just to show up, hopefully on time. But your wedding is a celebration of both of you, your relationship, and your story. It'll be much more enjoyable if you can share in the planning together!
It's true: You've found a rare guy if he is willing to share in your excitement when shopping for a dress, flowers, or what color napkins you will have for your cocktail hour. Some Grooms are led like zombies through the wedding day, and a big reason for this is that they literally have no idea what to expect!
Here's 5 good ideas to get your Groom more involved, in no particular order.
1. Let him pick the music. Many brides fear giving up any control of their wedding, but marriage is a two-way street as should be your wedding. Most guys are looking past the Ceremony and looking forward to the party, and giving him control over what songs are played will ensure that the Reception isn't a let down for him. And let him be involved in all of the music, including your first dance, make sure it's a song that you both agree on and that represents your relationship. It may be a tear-jerker for you, but no guy wants to be heckled by his groomsmen, as he spins in a circle to Celine Dion for 5 minutes.
2. Take him with you to meet your Photographer & Videographer. Again, most guys would rather be punched in the face than to go with you to pick out flowers, or colors. But Photos & Video may not seem very cool to your Groom at first, but they will most definitely gain interest once they hear about these services. Seeing funny and interesting photos will make him understand that there is more to Photography than the formal pictures after the Ceremony. Many guys will also appreciate the video of parts of the day such as the Limo, and the Reception, whereas the Bride may be more concerned with the Ceremony. Having him there with you will not only get him more involved, but he will also be helpful in asking questions that you may not have thought about. Don't know the difference between 1080i or 720p? He probably does, and engaging in a tech-conversation with these vendors will make him feel important and, well, manly.
3. Ask for his input. This sounds fairly simple, but just because he isn't helping doesn't mean he isn't interested or doesn't have opinions. Most guys just assume that the wedding is all about the bride. While he may not care which plates or glasses you add to your gift registry, he may have some great ideas about some other items that should be included. At the very least, by you asking for his input, he will feel included, and will be more likely to enjoy himself.
4. Agree to "surprise" each other. At some point leading up to the wedding or the wedding day itself, tell each other to plan a surprise for the other person, and leave it at that. Set some boundaries (you don't want him showing up with a "surprise" powder blue tuxedo) and maybe a budget, but then let each of your imaginations roam. Maybe it will be a gift? Maybe he'll write a song for you and sing it at your Reception? Prepare a sexy dance? In any scenario, this is a fun idea to agree to, and one that will get him thinking creatively months before the wedding.
5. Plan lots of down time during your wedding day, and let him fill in the gaps. As mentioned before, most guys are excited for their wedding day because it is an awesome time to hang out and party with friends and family. The more time that they have to do this, the more entertaining the day will be for him. Plan an early Ceremony for example, and leave a few hours between the Ceremony & Reception. You want to go down by the water for some cool pics after the Ceremony? Great. But then let him pick a spot next. Maybe he wants to go to your favorite bar, or to the bowling alley. You'd be surprised, but most Photographers and Videographers love these unique and out-of-the-ordinary locations, and you will end up with some great stuff.
Keep all these things in mind, and you'll find the whole process of planning more enjoyable for both of you. Oh yah, and you might want to strongly remind him where he needs to be and when...
Post your comments, or contact Tom at firstname.lastname@example.org or www.cvideosolutions.com
Tom Santilli has been in the Detroit wedding industry since 2002, and in that time has established himself as one of the top in his field. His company, Complete Video Solutions , was named as the #1 Best Wedding Videographer in Detroit by local brides and Channel 4 5 consecutive years, 2010-2014, and was currently inducted into TheKnot.com's "Vendor Hall of Fame." He also has won several awards for his wedding production, and is a member of WEVA (Wedding & Event Videographers Association.) As the Detroit Wedding Examiner, he has helped hundreds of brides with their weddings, with a local knowledge not found anywhere else. Being in the industry for so long, he is an expert in all areas of wedding planning, not just videography. He welcomes your questions, article suggestions, or feedback, and he can be reached