K writes: We are getting married in 2016 and are trying to figure out the budget for our wedding. My fiance's family is not offering to pay anything towards the wedding. Is this rude to expect them to pitch in? What is the groom's family traditionally responsible for?
Traditions have definitely changed over the past 10-20 years when discussing a wedding budget. First off, to answer your question, I don't think it's rude at all to expect both families to pitch in with the costs. With that said, it is a good idea to sit down near the beginning of the planning, and discuss what your priorities are for the wedding. This should dictate how your budget is organized, and who pays for what.
Traditionally, the Bride's family takes care of the bulk of wedding costs, including Reception, Ceremony, dress, flowers, and decor. Groom's family normally handles everything associated with the Rehearsal Dinner. Nowadays however, more and more I see couples handling a good part of the budget. It will really depend on your own unique situation, and the situation of your two families. But I think communication is the key.
By communicating what is important to you, and making known your priorities, you will be on the right road to figuring it all out. For example, if mom insists on taking care of your photographer that's great, but not if she was planning on spending $500. A donation of $500 to the overall budget may be better than her spending it on something that usual costs much more (for a quality photographer in our area, expect to spend anywhere from $2500-$5000).
Here are some articles on the topic of "who pays for what" that might give you additional insight. Good luck! -
-Who pays for what at a Wedding
- Wedding Etiquette
- The Wedding Help Line
Tom Santilli has been in the Detroit wedding industry since 2002, and in that time has established himself as one of the top in his field. His company, Complete Video Solutions , was named as the #1 Best Wedding Videographer in Detroit by local brides and Channel 4 FIVE consecutive years and is currently inducted into TheKnot.com's "Vendor Hall of Fame." He also has won several awards for his wedding production, and is a member of WEVA (Wedding & Event Videographers Association.) As the Detroit Wedding Examiner, he has helped hundreds of brides with their weddings, with a local knowledge not found anywhere else. Being in the industry for so long, he is an expert in all areas of wedding planning, not just videography. He welcomes your questions, article suggestions, or feedback, and he can be reached