Sometimes "reality" takes a back seat, especially when planning a "fairy tale."
Society nowadays is bombarded with short attention spans and instant gratification. Whether its instant messages, instant access, or instant oatmeal, people want what they want and they want it right now!
This mindset unfortunately does not apply to a successful marriage. As anybody who has been (and has stayed) married can attest, the priest was not kidding when he said "in good times and in bad," "for better or worse," "in sickness and in health," and "for richer for poorer." The reality is that a real relationship can weather both extremes, the good and the bad times. If you think you or your husband is special because you vowed "in good times, for better, in health and for richer", then think again. You are leaving out the most important parts. The truth is, most anybody can handle the brighter side of life......But it takes something special to find a person willing to be there "in bad, for worse, in sickness, and for poorer." Ask yourself if you have what it takes to be there for your husband, or your wife, when life is hard. Because life certainly brings some happy and some not-so-happy times, and a successful marriage will be able to cope with both.
Most people just say these vows without understanding what they mean. Ask yourself why are you getting married? Is it to have a wedding or is it to build a marriage? Forever is a long time you know, and you should consider what that means before you commit to anything. In a popular wedding song by Clint Black, he sings "Love isn't someplace that you fall, it's something that you do." What's your definition of love, and does your partner share this definition?
If you are planning on writing your own vows, take time to really examine what it is you are promising. A great idea is to write your vows together, this way, you are defining your promises together, based on your own definition of love. Are you more concerned with "surprising" your fiance with your written vows, or are you more concerned that he/she understands their meaning?
Another article on this topic breaks down the difference between a contract and a covenant. Ultimately, remember that it is less important to "get married" and "say your vows" than it is to "be married" and "live your vows."
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Tom Santilli has been in the Detroit wedding industry since 2002, and in that time has established himself as one of the top in his field. His company, Complete Video Solutions , was named as the #1 Best Wedding Videographer in Detroit by local brides and Channel 4 FIVE consecutive years and is currently inducted into TheKnot.com's "Vendor Hall of Fame." He also has won several awards for his wedding production, and is a member of WEVA (Wedding & Event Videographers Association.) As the Detroit Wedding Examiner, he has helped hundreds of brides with their weddings, with a local knowledge not found anywhere else. Being in the industry for so long, he is an expert in all areas of wedding planning, not just videography. He welcomes your questions, article suggestions, or feedback, and he can be reached